Funerals are sad. Life can be sad. And sometimes there's a time and place to travel to a destination alone with yourself and experience the sadness. And also, the greatness in the sadness.  I also think there’s a myth behind why every mother feels a bit of guilt when she’s away from her kids. It’s not because she’s a mom. Or doesn’t have the right to leave town solo and enjoy the fruits of her labor unattended by toddlers on a plane with a double Starbucks in hand and a good business book on her lap. Or that the children will die a miserable death by consuming too much pizza fed by Dad or cut their knee open while wrestling with their older sister. It’s more in depth than that. It's more complex. But it shouldn’t be. But it is. 


So, before I cry my eyes out on the sheer fact that they are a day away from being two years old, I'd also like to stab my eye with a fork because they are entering a mother's day out in the fall. For those of you that don't know what a "mother's day out" is, it's an introduction to pre-school. Yes. My boys will be forced to meet other humans their size, learn to sit at a table with other toddlers and eat lunch, and play games and learn to read and sing songs. Yes, sounds like torture right. Well, I'm having a nervous breakdown because I can't even believe it either, but I think this will be so good for my boys and it's only 1-2 days a week the first year and let's be honest...they need to learn to interact with other humans. Period. But still, can I even bring myself to say that we are BACK TO SCHOOL?? Like in 3 weeks. WTH. I can't even.  But you know what, I'm actually kind of excited to be able to work like 3 hours straight in my home with no interruptions. Like that sounds like a dream. 


I got pregnant with twins on the first try. I know. That's nuts and ridiculous. But it's also God's work. Or as my husband said, "God's funny work." And I was scared to death. Twins?!! How? Like, what? I'm confused. But yes, I was indeed pregnant with identical twins. And all I could think was, I hope they are girls. I know girls. I can't have boys. I don't know how to do boys.

And then they were boys. And my husband named them Bo and Luke. And I fell in love. Hard. And I'm obsessed.  And I can't stop, won't stop with the love. Ever. Never ever. And here's why.