I HIRED THE HOT NANNY
I hired the hot nanny.
Don’t say mic drop. Or snap. Hold on.
But yes, I hired the hot nanny. And I’m fucking excited. Roll with me, please.
Is this controversial? God I hope not. But let’s discuss.
Here’s the thing. I’m tired. I’ve been raising babies for a while. I’ve got 4 kids including my teenage stepson and two of them being 1 year old identical twin boys and I’ve been walking around this planet earth for the last 15 months a superhero. Everyone keeps saying I’m killing it. I’m conquering motherhood like a boss. And I am. It’s amazing. I’m amazing. Thank you!
But I’m dead. My mother said to me upon her departure back to LA, “Honey, I’m worried about you. You need to get some help. This job of raising twins and a 5 year old is exhausting. It’s ridiculous. I did it for 5 days and I didn’t think I would make it. I’m not sure how you are going to get through the next year continuing to do this by yourself. You don’t need to keep being a superhero. You need help. And you need it now.”
I suppose I could’ve nodded and said “Thanks Mom, but I got it.” But after my 3rd migraine in a month, my skin breeding eczema on the daily and my unwillingness to stay up late with my husband at an after party, I realized the long term effect I could have on my heart if I kept going like this. So, I hired the hot nanny.
“Never ever hire a hot nanny. That’s a death sentence.” Uttered a friend.
Am I going to die a slow death? Am I the dumbest woman on the planet?
Here’s the thing. I interviewed 4 nannies last month. One was pyscho, one was semi interesting, and none of them could work with our ever changing schedule. After a long discussion about finances and sanity, my husband and I sat down and said, “let’s see if our (regular sitter) can work regular hours and quit her other job.”
But wait, she’s pretty.
But wait, so are all 3 of our sitters we’ve had these last 15 months.
In fact they are beautiful. Young, shiny hair, good skin, great smiles, bodies in shape….just today as I let one of my sitters go after she watched the boys for my morning meeting, I found myself girl crushing her on her way out. She’s beautiful. And she smells like lavender.
They all are. Do I only hire pretty people? And am I a fucking nut case?
When we decided to hire our nanny, it was do or die. Not desperate, but it was time. And after much thoughtful consideration of our situation, we hired the girl who did the best job. The girl who is going to love our children. The girl who is going to respect our home and our family and take care of things when they need taken care of. She met that criteria. Period.
But she’s pretty, nix her.
Are you kidding? Is this is a thing and am I missing something?
Ok let’s get real. It’s not dawned on me that this could affect my marriage? Really? Let’s be honest, if that were the case, I wouldn’t have hired the hot nanny. I’m not saying I’m impervious to tragedies because they can happen, but am I going to not hire the most qualified person for the job because she’s a size 2, under 30 and single?
I would hope that if I was a size 2 (size 0 in carolina herrera couture, but who’s counting) under 30 and single, that if I applied for the job to take care of 3 children and was very excited and happy about it, that I would be hired even though I happened to be pretty. Are we all so threatened by youth and beauty that we can’t accept these people into our home to help out while Dad is gone at work all day and Mom is in and out working and dropping off and picking up kiddos? Are we discriminating against the pretty people? I love pretty people. My friends are pretty people. I work with pretty people and so does my husband. Every single day.
I know about Ben Affleck and the nanny. And that sucks. Breaks my heart. And I pray that my relationship with my husband and God remains between us and God and remains strong and honest and true. I’m a believer and have full confidence. I also know my worth, my own beauty and my own needs. I run this household like a CEO of a major company and I know what’s best for my family. And for the next 10 months or so as I evaluate my future in work, in our family and our business ventures, I know I need help. And I hired help. The help is pretty and kind and qualified. And although there are some naysayers of “hiring the hot nanny”, I will say this and this only. My eyes are wide open. I am not hiring a hooters girl who walks into my house with her boobs and ass out for the world to see. If she was, she wouldn’t be hired. If she had the vibes of bad girl and believe me I’ve been around them (I’m in the music business), she wouldn’t have babysat for our family at all. Just like the first babysitter we got when the boys were born….she was beautiful and 21 and I didn’t blink twice. I was too tired to blink. And I'm still tired. But I’m not an idiot. I’ve also been 20 and pretty and looking for a job. And if you find help that treats your babies like you treat them, or a close second, you give them a chance.
Sometimes being pretty can be pretty frowned upon. I’m pretty ok with this decision and I’m not frowning. Maybe I’m wrong, but maybe I’m right. And maybe my life just got a whole lot better because I’m taking a chance and finally hiring some steady help. It’s what the doctored ordered. And now I have someone I can share clothes with. Win.