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THIS IS JUST A SEASON, AND I'M NOT TALKING CHRISTMAS

THIS IS JUST A SEASON, AND I'M NOT TALKING CHRISTMAS

 Sydney Clawson

Sydney Clawson

Yesterday kicked my ass. Don't be fooled by these sweet boys you see in this image, they are hard work and sometimes I think I'm just failing at it all. Today you might be feeling similar. Or you might be just done. Whether it's a newborn baby needing you every minute and every hour, or a teething toddler who's cranky at every minute and every hour, or a 5 yr old, going on 20, wearing you out in every possible scenario, from not liking "what you cooked for dinner", to throwing an outrage over not being able to wear jellies when it's 30 degrees out, you're done. You're over it. Well,  I got you mama. I hear you. You are not alone. In fact, I have 2 different text threads involving the catastrophe of the latter. But let me calm your nerves ever so slightly and just say.

This is just a season. 

And yes, whether currently it's Christmas and or whatever holiday you celebrate,  it's a shit show I know. It is here too. And when you are so tired just at the thought of making dinner let alone going on Amazon to find a gift for your nephew or your mother in law, I hear you sister. This sucks. I don't remember ever feeling so spent. So knocked out by little fuckers called people. And the irony is, You love them ferociously. It's obscene. You'd do anything for them. Anything. And although in the moment of every moment that you think you want to die a miserable death, somehow these magical people you call your own, manage to show you the rainbow of light that is beaming your way filled with love and endorphins that fill you up magically with happiness and stamina to last you another season.

There will be another season and then, somehow, some freaking way, you'll miss last season. Like, the time will just move without your permission, and the cold front will come on without warning, and the sky will turn grey, but your babies will turn a new corner filling your home with new light and laughter that you never saw coming. All of a sudden that sadness and despair you thought you had for a millisecond....it disappears. And all you see is white snow filled with babies full of smiles and innocent wonder. It's magic. And mind blowing.

It's a season. And before you know it, snow turns to dew, and grass turns green and your babies cry new words and new hope lights in their eyes and they become the next chapter of who they are meant to be.

The sleeplessness dissipates and becomes irrelevant only to be replaced by the babies out running mama so fast you can't keep up. And the pink and blue toys cover up your chic white decor and beautiful wood floors and the juice is spilled from room to room and they grow. And they grow. And they grow. And then they start kindergarten. And they say things like, "you're the greatest mom ever, because you take care of me, and you take care of brothers and I just love you so much." It's like watching a movie in double time. And also like wearing your heart outside of your chest. 

 Brooke Boling

Brooke Boling

And suddenly you see an old video or photograph like above and she talks like a baby, and her cheeks look like a baby, but when she's sitting right next to you at this very moment, and you realize that was just a season and here she is, a young little lady, it's like, woah.

And you cry. And cry. And wonder how God made it this way. So beautiful, so fast, so mine.

This season will pass, and you'll want it back. I promise you. I promise. The exhaustion, the frustration, the realness of not getting it right when you're doing everything in your power to be the perfect mother. Reel it in. Live in it. Bask in the glory of the seasons of your life. You can't get them back. Even when it's hard, real hard, like you're thinking this time in life in parenting is sucking you dry, just know, you're not alone, you've got her, or him and this season of life is yours and damn, ain't you the lucky one.

 

 

WHY I WANT ANOTHER BOSTON FOR CHRISTMAS

WHY I WANT ANOTHER BOSTON FOR CHRISTMAS

STUFF YOUR OWN DAMN STOCKING MRS. CLAUS

STUFF YOUR OWN DAMN STOCKING MRS. CLAUS