YOU'RE HAVING TWINS CONGRATS! PREPARE TO DIE. JUST KIDDING, PREPARE TO CRY
So you’re having twins? Congratulations.
Prepare to die. Just kidding. Prepare to cry. I’m not kidding. Be scared. Be fucking scared. It's nuts. It's overboard nuts. It’s frightening. It's gonna make you lose your mind. It will test your faith. And you're gonna cry. A lot. All the time. Just cry cry cry.
And you're never going to leave the house again.
I’m really not kidding. Everything people tell you, especially other twin parents tell you about twins….believe them. It's all true. It's so FUCKING HARD.
Sorry, but I want to be honest. Let me just get this all out. Keep reading, it will get better. But first. The first 6 months SUCK. Totally suck. It will all suck. Because you feel dead. So tired you can’t stand up. And you don’t want to stand up. But you will. Because your babies need you. And you will stand up.
You will make it through the first 6 months and you'll still be alive and so will your twins. And despite the exhaustion both physically and mentally, your babies are going to be extremely cute. And cuddly. And they will smell like heaven. And then they will open their eyes and stare straight into your heart and you will melt. Your heart will sink from disbelief that these tiny little humans love you and need you this much and how in the world is it possible to feel so much love for these people you created? So even though there will be night after night you had them sleeping thru the night and now they're not sleeping because they're teething, or they have colds or they are just being assholes and won't go back to sleep….when you do pick them up in your arms and nurse them or rock them or just stare into their eyes through your tired sleepy ones, you'll realize in that moment, why all of this makes sense. And you'll cry. Mostly exhaustion depressive cry…but then it shifts into something magnificent and your babies look at you with that real look of love that says "momma, I love you and I' m so glad you're my momma and thank you for coming to get me tonight and every other night that you get me." You'll still be mad that they're awake, but this helps.
And then they’ll begin to laugh. And that makes you cry. And then out of nowhere they sleep 5 hours straight, then 7, then you feel slightly human again. And that will make you cry. And you'll begin to like your husband again. You’ll also begin to see why the schedule is so important and you’ll follow it because if you don’t, then you’ll never stop crying. Follow the schedule. Schedule is everything. Babies crave it. And by the time they are 1, their routine is your sanity because without it, it’s a big chaotic mess and no, you don’t need any more chaos than the already chaotic reality of twins. Schedule. Healthy Sleep Habits will steer you right. And babycenter.com has great schedule examples. 7 pm is the best part of my day. Not kidding. I don’t want you to cry.
But you will, because twins are twice the work. But the part about twins that God created oh so cleverly, is the greatest thing of all: twins are twice the love. I know you’ve heard that from everyone. It’s so cliche. But I'm here to tell you this is the stunning truth. The love will stop you in your tracks in the middle of the night when you miraculously get them both to sleep at the same time and although you’re exhausted and need to go to bed, you’ll lean over their crib and watch them sleep side by side and you’ll be blown away. You’ll begin to sob and look up at the ceiling and thank God for these tiny miracles and pray for their health and you’ll stare and yawn and watch them smile in their sleep and everything about this moment makes everything that seemed too impossible to handle, a breeze. Everything makes sense.
And they will grow and by 9 months you won’t believe how obsessed you are and then you’ll realize you’re only a couple months away from making it through the first year of twins. And you will cry. Because you suddenly understand that the baby stage is almost over and you're gonna miss it. Not kidding.
You are a warrior twin momma. You are brave. And you got this. But you will also need help or you will cry all day every day. So just say yes. When someone offers to bring you dinner, say yes. When someone offers to take your older child to a movie, say yes. When your friend offers to come hang and fold laundry, don’t laugh and say “No, I got this.” Say yes and thank you and I love you. Get family to help. And if you don’t have family, hire help if possible. It will save your life. And your marriage. And your sanity. Don’t buy everything in 2’s. Sometimes twins don’t like everything the same. One might love the swing, the other will scream. Get out of the house alone. Leave them for an hour with your husband or neighbor and go for a drive. Get your feet done. Find your Momsquad and keep them close. Very close. Like on speed dial. Meet twin moms. You will need them something fierce. Their experience and knowledge will save your life.
Here's a few twin things that saved my life the first year: The twin roo snap and go, the city mini double, the rock and play (get 2), the brest friend twin, the Halo sleep sack, a million pampers diapers, a million onesies (don't buy too many expensive ones because they will all get stained by shit. Lots of shit), changing station (areas) upstairs and downstairs, and a lot of patience. Twins don't require a lot of material things, they require a lot of patience and love. Just pure love.
I honestly didn't think I could do it. No twin mom does. But when my husband told me he had to go out of town on business when the twins were 5 weeks, somehow some way, I figured it out. You're not gonna let them starve. If they cry a little because they have to wait on mommy to change one baby while the other one waits, they will live. They will be ok. And the older sibling will sleep through the noise. One night that I decided to turn off the monitor I woke up after sleeping 6 hours (which was amazing) and they were screaming. I don't know how long they were screaming for me. I was mortified. I cried so hard. But they were fine. I fed them and they were fine. We were all alive and we still are.
You're a Mom. A twin mom. You're unique. And God gave you superpowers to take on this journey. It will not be easy. But it will be oh so beautiful. I promise. I've never climbed a higher mountain than this, only to make it to the top after falling a million times and peeling myself off the floor and getting back up and trying again. But when you make it to the top, you see the sunset and you see God's work in those tiny faces, lips and cheeks and you wonder how you got so lucky. I've never been more grateful. I've never been more humble. And I've never cried more. Congrats on your twin pregnancy, you are blessed and I'm so incredibly excited to be on this journey with you. Prepare to cry. (insert my tears)