5 REASONS 3 KIDS ARE KINDA LIKE 20
A friend just announced she’s pregnant with her 3rd child. She said, “Tell me all your tricks”.
Another friend said to me a few years back when I desperately wanted another baby, “2 kids is like 20.”
Well, I went from 1 to 3. And here’s what I know about the big jump. 3 kids are kinda like 20.
Every time I see someone with 1 child, I shake my head with slight envy. I don’t want their kid, I just see the peace. I see the calm with 1 child in tow and not 2, 3 or 4.
My neighbor has 5 children. And she’s basically Saint Teresa.
But the thing is, nothing quite prepares you for the tornado of multiple children. One is easy; (Comparatively speaking, when I only had one, I thought it was hard, it’s all relative). But to me, anything over that 1 number, all bets are off. It’s not that you’re outnumbered, but yes you’re actually outnumbered. And it’s some kind of crazy. And at times chaotic. Ok, a lot of times chaotic. But it's also some kind of wonderful. And it’s everything I’ve ever wanted out of love.
But in case you’re wondering how it goes, or how it went, here’s a little insight. 5 reasons 3 kids are kinda like 20.
1. When you have 2+ kids, it’s loud. It’s outrageously stupid loud. Just imagine 3 little people all screaming at the same time, stating or mumbling through their salty tears, that they’re hungry at 5 pm. Momma be like, where are my earplugs and where’s my martini.
2. Your grocery bill is that of the Von Trapps. I go in for milk, eggs, and bread, and I magically come out with the entire dairy section, all the animal crackers in aisle 7 and a basket of produce bigger than the size of my bathtub. Can you say spendy?
3. You’re basically google. You’re a question answerer 24 hours a day. Even if your toddlers don’t talk, you’re still answering. If you had a camera on you all day it would look like you're talking to yourself most of the time and perhaps you are. With multiple children, there’s multiple needs. Everyone needs you all the time. And at the end of the day at 8 pm, when it's finally quiet in the house, the word Mom sounds like a ringing bell in your ear that echoes on and on like a marching band in a football game. Wine helps.
4. You have no idea what you’re doing. Going from 1 baby to 2 (or 3 in my case) is kind of like a wave taking you down. It rolls you pretty hard and it’s sometimes hard to breathe, but you always see the surface and can come up for air. But it takes you down. And you go in so many directions that you’re not sure exactly where you’re going, but if you keep swimming, you find your feet and are suddenly able to breathe. Every day is a new lesson. And you’re just navigating, making sure everyone is alive and well. There’s no preparation for jumping from taking care of 1 human being and all their needs, to taking care of everyone’s needs. But the miracle of it all, is despite not knowing what you’re doing, is that you do. And you do it well. Because you have to. You survive the screaming baby/babies while you’re trying to make dinner for your family. You accept that you haven’t showered in two days and you let it go. You put the kids in the car despite your fears of an unpleasant trip to the mall, because sanity. You feed the kids french fries when there is no other option. You let them eat off the table at the restaurant because you don’t have time to remember buying those sticky place mats. And you cry when it’s hard, because, it is, and it’s ok.
5. You enjoy the pack of wolves you created. Sure it feels like you might lose someone at Disneyland if you don’t keep them all in a stroller, but suddenly when you observe your children witnessing Mickey Mouse for the first time and you see them watching their brother or sister and all of sudden the feeling is real, it’s magic. You have the big family you always wanted. You revel in the beauty of God’s creation. You spoil the babies because they’re your babies. You sneak away for a night out with the husband, so you can remember why they are here in the first place. You smile when you wake up and there's always a kid in your bed, because, well, there's always one in your bed. You lather yourself up with sweet morning kisses from all your babies you made because God gives you only what you can handle and he gives you these babies because you’re you. Congrats on becoming a mother again, it’s a blessing, and remember that, even when you think it’s not.