THE SINGLE MOM
My Grandma was a widow. Lost her husband when she had 5 kids, one being a six month old. And on a week recently where I felt overwhelmed, I thought of her. And I thought, how. And also the woman I met at the grocery store yesterday. She said she had 3 kids who were getting big. Almost to high school. And I said “y’all must be so excited lol!” She smiled and said , “Well, I am. have a great day.” And she got my groceries in my cart and smiled, loving on my babies on the way out.
And then there was yesterday at the doctor’s office. I saw my nurse who’s been my nurse forever, through all my pregnancies and all my years in Nashville. She is quite possibly one of my favorite people ever. So kind. So warm. So honest. She asked me how I was doing while taking my blood pressure amongst other things and I said I was fine. The kids are healthy I said and growing like weeds and I showed her some pictures. She said, “I love your family. What a beautiful family you have. You’re doing so good.” She went on to ask me a few questions while we browsed more baby photos and she asked about my husband. I said, “He’s good, just busy, life is so busy, sometimes it’s just so hard.” She said, “Of course it’s hard, you have twins! And marriage is hard. My boyfriend is hard. Men and women are so different. I said Amen sister. I don’t know her whole story, but I walked out of the doctor’s office feeling grateful to know her. Her spirit and positive energy and single mom status had me whipped. What a woman. And I just wanted to say this to her.
I love you. I want to hang out with you. Like we should go for coffee. Or wine. Definitely wine. Like, I wanna know how you do what you do. Because you’re my hero. Like major. So much respect.
Like, if you work during the week, you still have to deal with the witching hour, which is complete bullshit for any mother. So basically, you work, and deal with bullshit, then come home and deal with bullshit until lights out. And you hurry up the book reading and the washing because you’re so damn tired that you can’t even feel your face. And so it’s 8 pm and by the time you clean up dinner, the toys and maybe change the laundry, you basically want to lay out on the couch like a whale, waiting for someone to rub your belly. But no one rubs your belly. And perhaps you pour yourself some wine, and maybe you get a bath, or maybe you go straight to the kitchen table and open your laptop and pay bills and then maybe you catch Fallon and then you switch the channel and come across the dumbest Kardashian bullshit of a show but you get sucked in to the stupid Scott Disick drama and you pay attention and you end up watching 3 episodes back to back and don’t go to bed till midnight.
You wake up and get the babies up, make them breakfast, play with them a little, hopefully get your coffee, only to not see your coffee again for an hour when it’s cold and your’e running out the door to get the kids off to school or daycare and you realize you maybe forgot to brush your teeth. Meanwhile, you head off to your job and enter that world for an 8 hour day and you crush it because it’s your job and it’s paying your bills and you’re grateful. By 5 pm, you’re back home with the littles figuring out if chicken nuggets and sweet potato fries will do the trick for dinner when realizing you’re completely out of wine. Frantically you’ll make a baileys and coffee because you don’t have anything left in the house to take the edge off and as a result you wind up staying up all night watching “League of Our own”, followed by “Fried Green Tomatoes”.
You enter the next day feeling hungover from no sleep due to great acting by Kathy Bates and you’re so excited to meet the weekend and then you realize you’re a single mom and umm no there’s no weekend for you momma!
You venture outside as much as possible, clean the house because it’s never clean because you have twin toddlers, do more laundry, hang with a few friends or boyfriend and by 8 pm, you realize you’re having a totally rocking night by being still unshowered, watching a taped episode of dateline and eating a pint of haagendaz ice-cream.
The Single Mom, I hear you sister. And I get it.
But actually, and honestly, I don’t. And here's why. Because this was me two weeks ago when my husband was out of town. And he’s home now. And just having him get the babies up in the morning while I lay in bed an extra 10 minutes is like gold. And yes he's out of town way more than I prefer, but when he's here, he's here. So, no I actually don’t know what it’s like to be a single mom. I only did it this week and all I could think about was you. And I wondered how you do it every day. How my Grandma did it every day. And that made me silent and still.
The single Mom, in my eyes you’re a complete hero. A badass. And I have so much respect for all that you do. And you’re raising humans, on your own. Like, how? I'm amazed and humbled. And I have so much to learn. Teach me your ways. Your bravery and your patience. Cuz, I’m inspired. Cuz you’re amazing. K. Bye.