HOW NETFLIX AND CHILL SAVED MY MARRIAGE
"What is Netflix and chill?" I say to my best friend who has a teenager. "Oh you know, sex and Netflix. I'm sorry, come again? What planet am I living on? That is brilliant! Well, good to know. Thanks for filling me in." Period, end of conversation. Turns out it started years ago with a twitter hashtag and is a viral meme used by all the millenials, but this silly American slang term to the married with babies "me" got me thinking. It got me reminiscing. And the butterflies from memories of days gone by sifted over my forehead like a cool ocean breeze. You see, those days are gone. Or are they?
Before Netflix and Chill (which to me just sounded like a nice title to a sleepy mini series), there was MTV Reality tv with Scott Baio. And before that, it was Friday night and Lost in Translation. And before that, it was any John Hughes film where young love collided with a soundtrack completely worthy of a make out session. It was romance. It was lust. It was freedom.
These days fitting in the romance between the school open house, the 60 hour work weeks, the toddler twins terrible twos, and finding something interesting to cook for the 7th day in a row, it's a shit show. And let's be honest, keeping marriage afloat involves more work than kissing someone goodnight. No matter how fucking tired you are.
Enter Netflix and chill.
I don't know who came up with it, and probably don't care to google the ridiculous memes attached to it, but for the mere simplicity of the term and meaning, here's the thing. To married peeps with multiple children, this is spot on. And here's why. In a day and age where everyone is hustling the big hustle and juggling marriage and kids and having trouble navigating the balance, it all comes down to one thing. Connection. We want to connect. Our purpose is to connect. And when we connect, we feel good. We carry on better. And when you and the husband are looking forward to the next installment of Stranger things right after Ozarks finishes up, because, well, Netflix and chill, you're definitely onto something.
Before marriage and kids and the controlled chaos, date night was every night. Meet at the bar at the restaurant, share a steak and salad and some laughs, a couple glasses of wine, head home watch Letterman, have some more wine, wake up late. And all the sex in the world,. Don't act like you don't know. It's true. And it was life. And it was sexy as shit.
And then you have the children. And stop. It's a shit show. Now, don't get scared, it's not that you lose your mojo, but you do lose your mojo, for a minute. Life is different. And hard. And wonderful. And some time passes and it gets better. And one day, you and your husband jump on the bandwagon of binge-watchin' and suddenly you're making every effort to get the kids to bed early so you can jump in bed and watch 3 episodes before you pass out from the longest day of your life. And perhaps in the middle of binge-watchin' you discover each other and it's sexy and fun and feels like freedom. Because the kids are asleep. Because you're in bed together. Because it's dark and it's good tv. That is freedom. And freedom is sexy.
However you can find the time to connect with your spouse is pertinent to the long life of marriage we all hope to continue on. It just so happens that this phenomenon that all the millenials joke about just happened to have saved my marriage. It's not that we were dying a slow death or losing it, but in the tunnel of dust you get caught up in during the crazy busy years of marriage and kids, it's easy to pass each other in the night like ships. But it's way easier to lay next to each other and have entertainment be a turn on.
Think of it this way......It's almost like a permanent date until the series is over. And it's cozy and comfortable, and yes, incredibly sexy. So if you aren't doing it already I highly recommend. Also wine on the nightstand is never a bad idea and it's cheaper than going out. OK bye.