THE WORLD IS NOT YOUR FRIEND
Life hurts today. It just does. No filter. No emoji. No coffee with happy pill additives. Today just sucks. It feels like shit. And there’s nothing I can do about it except this. Wipe my tears, accept the sucky-ness and move on. The sooner we learn this, the better off we’ll be. You see, nobody has it perfect. Or easy. The world is not your friend. It doesn’t owe you any favors. It’s unpredictable. And the only way to have life beat, is to stick your face right to it and face it head on.
I’m not really a cynical person. I’m more sunshine and summertime. More pińa colada than whiskey neat. More beach wavy hair than flat ironed straight. I accept defeat with aplomb. And when the world serves me filet mignon on a hot plate with a perfect amount of au gratin potatoes on the side, it’s perfection. Substantial. And sublime.
But let's get real. A few months ago I had a shitty day. And in typical me fashion I called my Mom and justified whining like a baby over my iPhone despite my age. I had a shit day. And I couldn’t shake it. I just couldn't. And in the middle of my sentence about the difficulties of adult-ing through the battles of marriage, motherhood and self love, my mother said, “The world is not your friend.” She carried on to say that it doesn’t get any easier. It gets busier, more complex, more intense. She softly and quite vulnerably then said, “But it’s your call, the world may not be your friend, but how are you gonna handle it? Cry and say this sucks? Or are you gonna stare it in the face and find your joy? Honey, you're amazing, you're doing great. Know your purpose and seek joy.“
Literally, I passed the river and saw the sun directly staring into my eyes and I lost my breath. So if I am dealt a particular set of cards, am I gonna ask for a shuffle? Or a re-do? No. No sweetheart I whispered to myself. No. I am going to dive into the abyss and assume the position. Of my life. And if I choose darkness, I’m solely responsible for it. And if I choose joy, I’m solely responsible for that too. And that sounds so much better. Happy is better.
One of the most frequent podcasts I’ve listened to lately is Oprah's Super soul Sunday sessions. I know. Oprah is doing it again. But the content is good. Really good. So good I’ve had three cries in my car this week and it’s only Wednesday. Can you say therapy?
Here’s the thing, on a recent podcast, one of her guests (Tony Robbins) pointed out so poignantly that we have choices. He said "we are wired for upset, wired for fear. And some choose suffering. The biggest drug is that we're all afraid we're not enough. And that fear leads to not being loved. And love is the oxygen of life." We all strive to live our best lives and "ending the illusion of loss" is our key to this path he states. "We must tend to our suffering immediately." Mic drop.
The reason this struck such a massive chord in me, is not that it's the first time I've heard such brilliant fodder between the great Oprah and Tony Robbins. It's that the work to get there is the hardest part. The ability to work for it, and arrive at this beautiful state is not as easy as the flip of a switch. Especially when the world hands you lemons on top of moldy ones still in your fridge. If we arrive at the ability to suffer through the suffering, accept it's unsightly bearings, then we have made it to step 1. And if we make it to step 2, which is jumping over that hurdle of suffering to see the other side, then most definitely anything is possible than the contrary of suffering.
I'm a believer of this. Never in my twenties did I think 30 minutes in the car listening to Tony Robbins would a lightbulb go off in my head. But it did. It also did that day I talked to my mother. I think it's because my dimensions are more vast. I feel more deeply. I'm a mother. I'm a wife. I'm a creator. These are beautiful and complicated things. But I was chosen to do these things and I have every capability to do them and to do them well. Even when I have a shit day. Even when I think I'm a shitty mother. Even when it all seems just wrong. This life is a continuous road of windy turns and ups and downs, and the world is not our friend. And the sooner we can accept the way the world works, the sooner we can unleash our inner state of happy and find joy right here right now. Here goes nothing.