HOW TO HAVE TWINS AND STILL WIN AT LIFE
Not gonna lie, it’s hard. You know this. Because I say it a lot. But only because it’s true. And if I’m lying then I’m just doing you all a huge disservice. And I don’t like that. I think that sucks. I’m not here to be perfect. Or right. Or lie. I’m only interested in the truth. Because that’s how I do life. And sometimes the truth isn’t pretty. But sometimes it’s incredible. And glorious. And with twins, it’s a good ole country combo. Yes, I really did just say that. Because twins are well, twins. Yeah my egg split in two and gave me two babies. Yep. God is funny. And cute. But honestly, I have twins and I still win at life and here’s why.
The first thing the technician at the ultra sound office said to me after she told me I was going to be a twin mother, was congratulations. The second thing she told me was, you’re going to have your hands full!
And from that day forward, nine thousand four hundred and twenty five people have said the exact same thing to me. In elevators, at the airport, the grocery aisle, the checkout aisle, the doctor’s office, the dentist chair, the writing room, the hotel lobby, the beach, the wax studio, the dermatologist, the jiffy lube, the school drop-off and everywhere else one twin mom would go. It’s par for the course when you become a twin mother. It’s a not so subtle, this is probably gonna suck and be so hard that you’re going to pull your hair out and probably need a drink every day at 5 pm and you probably won’t get a fucking shower the first 7 days after giving birth to your twins. You’re probably going to beg to go to the grocery store just to browse the magazines. Yes, the ghetto grocery store at 9 pm to browse the magazine aisle. And you might open an Instyle Magazine and see the perfect celebrity mother dressed in couture while breastfeeding a newborn and her perfect makeup and hair and Monique Lhuillier dress just might piss you off enough to make you burst into tears. You’ll quickly get yourself together, buy a bottle of wine and two chocolate bars before getting in your car and crying again. You arrive home feeling refreshed and dead at the same time.
So the lady was right. You do have your hands full. And that I did. And that I still do. Every day. There is no break (except when the sitter comes) and so you go to work to use your adult brain to come up with magical words to put in a song or you dip your feet in water to get them scrubbed and you feel guilt because someone is rubbing your feet and making them feel good meanwhile your boobies are exploding with tingling and perhaps breastmilk is leaking onto your belly button. Yes, you don’t have the babies with you and you still have your hands full.
But here’s the thing. Every time you focus on those infant twins or those non-stop twin toddlers that are destroying your house, or perhaps your grown twin girls who are headed off to college next fall, you’re winning. Because God chose you to fill the role of bringing twins into the world. The glorious miracle that is, two humans that shared a womb and grew inside a woman’s belly. And that job is full. To utmost capacity. Your hands are full. Forever and ever. And that job of raising them, from breast milk to formula to 8,000 diapers and more, you’ve done it and now you have two faces and two heartbeats that love you, need you and want you every day for the rest of your life. Yes, you’ve got your hands full. And some days, it’s a shit show. Other days are mind-blowing. The kind of mind blowing where those twins wrap their dreams around your heart and it fills your cup for years at a time. Where their 4th and 5th words come out of their mouth and are so astoundingly significant that you’re literally smiling ear to ear like Mr. fucking Rogers and you look so ridiculous in real time. Where the exhaustion of chasing them around their room at 7 pm to get them in the bath only to poop in the bath, drain the bath, clean the bath and bathe them again, and chase them to get their diaper on and their pjs on and their teeth brushed and into their cribs where they can’t escape, but you do get them there. And they smile at you and say “I love you mama” and they hug your tummy tight and say "mama" again with a smile. And then they give you a fist pump and every single struggle of twin motherhood and every ounce of exhaustion and doubt of motherhood perfection fades away. And you are 100% winning at life.
There's a certain kind of person who gets to mother these twins. And she's you. She's the warrior she never knew she was. And even when it gets harder or the tide changes, or the virus multiplies, she's the woman who handles it with guts and glory. And who revels in the joy. The enormous and tremendous joy. So yeah, you can have twins and still win at life. In fact, double times over. K, bye.