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AND THEN GOD GAVE YOU BROTHERS

AND THEN GOD GAVE YOU BROTHERS

 | image by sydney clawson |

| image by sydney clawson |

When I became pregnant with twins I was so confident I would have girls. Nothing better in the world than 3 sisters I pondered. I have a sister and the bond is pretty much unstoppable. Best friends. Thick as thieves. Basically soul mates. And then I found out I was having boys. I was excited. But honestly, I had no idea what I was in for. Flash forward to 2 1/2 years later, and there they were playing outside today with sissy and all I could do was observe. Really observe. And there they were.  And it was unstoppable. She had brothers.

The more I observed them in action, the more my heart skipped a beat. And suddenly, it’s becoming so clear that this bond of brothers and a sister, is more than I asked for. It’s better. 

As she pulled them in the wagon of our driveway and they giggled out loud and asked her if they could have a ride in her John Deere, the love was palpable. And mutual. I could see that it was direct and full of beautiful intention. I know, they are only 6 and 2 respectively, but the love was clear as day and suddenly I realized why God made it this way.

She is a leader. Paving the way for her little brothers teaching them all she knows and without reservation or fear of the unknown. She leads them where she may and they follow. In trust, and in love. And I think to myself, this was all on purpose. Really? And then I thought, what is the dynamic with my own two brothers? How does it impact my world daily. And here’s what I came up with. 

I have an older brother and a younger brother. (And a sister, but you already know that). And growing up with them is all I’ll ever know. Because that was our family dynamic. And although I tend to refer to my sister often as my bestie (which she is), I fail to report how often I’m in touch with my brothers and how every day that they text me a stupid meme, I’m crying tears of laughter followed by mountains of gratitude choking me up in the kitchen. 

Hashtag blessed. Not only do my brothers tend to text me stupid memes that make me laugh out loud in the middle of the grocery store, but they FaceTime with a guitar in hand and sing me songs from our childhood. Or they just sing. No song, no specific lyric. Just melodies that are made up. Because it’s fun. Because we like to laugh. Because seeing each other through the screen of a small cracked iPhone 6 is enough to keep my heart full for the whole month until we talk again. 

Because brothers know how to make their sister laugh. They know how to be honest and open and know that their sister won’t judge. That she’ll laugh and cry with them on cue. That when you’ve made a poor choice in love, they won’t harass you and call you an asshole and tell you to break up with him. They’ll tell you 5 years later when we’re drunk on wine at Christmas. They’ll follow that statement by saying “you knew you weren’t gonna marry him and so did I.” They have that brother instinct. And they protect without you even knowing it.

Kona Blue, (my 6 year old daughter) is surrounded by brothers. She wakes up lives and breathes brothers. It was designed that way for her. She doesn’t know it now, but one day she is going to walk down the aisle with her husband, and her brothers will be standing there in matching suits wiping tears of joy and tears of protection for the years to come. Because not only will they have protected her every move she makes, she will have done exactly the same for them. She will have watched their every move and had their backs at every fall. Because that’s what sisters do. 

And although I don’t know every detail of how life will unfold for all of them, I do know this.

They will have each other. And they will love each other fiercely. They will know no boundaries in love for one another. Because she is their sister. And they are her brothers.

The older I get and the more I see, I realize now, that the growing pains and the distance between us siblings as kids was all part of the growing. The annoying situations, the fighting, the pulling of the hair, the stealing of the dessert on the kitchen table. That was then and it led us here.

Here is where my heart is. Full of gratitude and a love so pure for my brothers that my only regret is that we don’t live closer.

And presently, in this house, although not every day is love and giggles and some days are filled with not sharing and annoying sister while she’s watching a movie they don’t understand, one day they will all understand this.

That their life was designed to have each other in it. And having brothers grow up in the house with their sister was all part of God’s plan. And even on days when I wished she had a sister, I’m reminded that the unbreakable bond of these kiddos lays comfortably in the arms of family. That no matter what they will go through in this lifetime, they will be there for each other. In all the sickness and the health, the love stories and the love gone awry. The births of babies, and the losses of our elders. And knowing that wherever life goes, they will be right there. Even if you move 2000 miles away. They’ll randomly tag you on the stupidest instagram post of the day. And you’ll smile so big your eyes will water. Because your brother is thinking of you. And he’s always going to be there. In your heart. Forever.

 

BEST INVESTMENT IN 2018

BEST INVESTMENT IN 2018

HONOR THE TEARS THAT YOU CARRY

HONOR THE TEARS THAT YOU CARRY